My mom gets mad when I say I hate kids. She told me I was going to have kids one day. She got even madder when I told her that wasn't going to happen. Who wants children? This world is overpopulated anyway and, the way I see it, there are already too many screaming kids around here.I hear a kid screaming in the booth next to me at a restaurant and the things I want to do to it just don't make me the parental type. I can't even take the sound of some random kid screaming for five minutes in a public place. At least there if it doesn't shut the hell up I can leave. What the fuck am I supposed to do when I come home drunk and that damn thing is crying in the middle of the night? My first reaction would be to smack it; I've been taught that usually fixes things like TV's, computers or water fountains. In my experience, slapping a child results in more crying at least 6 times out of ten, so my next step would just be to get rid of it. My the time I'm at proper kid-bearing age, I'll probably live in a big city, so I'm sure if I just put it out on the sidewalk. someone would take it. I'd just wrap it up in a cute little outfit and put it outside my apartment building. Or maybe I'd just leave it on the front desk beside the candy dish.
Of course, this is all assuming that I would keep this child for any amount of time. I'm also basing this all on my preferences. One may ask "what if your wife wants kids?" The solution is simple: I am never going to marry anyone who wants kids. Hell, I probably won't marry anyone in the first place. Marriage is, like, a two year commitment that's just going to get in the way of my life plans. How am I going to be rich if I have to spend money on a wife and kids and a house big enough for them? Adding kids to that commitment would trap me in for at least another five or six years. At the very least, nine months.
No comments:
Post a Comment